Instead I’m getting, “Okay, be there soon, but I have a call and I have to log in for a few hours and …”
I hung my hopes on this, and instead I’m doing laundry with a small child underfoot while sick as heck. I have a therapist, but what I need is hope that doesn’t get crushed.
No Cavalry: To spouse: “No. You agreed to help me. I need the help. I am not okay, and this ‘I have a call’ is not okay.” Stand there till you get the right answer — the help you were promised.
I am sorry it has come to this.
A reader noted, correctly, that you need to walk away from the laundry. Another suggestion:
· You have another cavalry. Call the neighbors, friends, siblings and people from afar. They will come. We had friends who couldn’t come but paid for a dog walker. Tap into your network. This is their moment. And hire the rest out if you can. I literally put out a social message saying: I need help with X, Y and Z (kid pickup, groceries, cleaning, dogs). You will be surprised at who shows up, even people you don’t know that well. Do not depend on someone who always puts you second.
Dear Carolyn: I feel stuck right now. The political climate and the generally depressing daily news have taken a toll on my happiness. I am not depressed, but I don’t think I’ve experienced true joy in a while. I’m also at a crossroads in my career. After working part time from home for years, it is time for me to find something new. Some friends have suggested taking a completely new direction or reinventing myself, but the idea of starting over feels overwhelming. And although I fantasize about doing something amazing to help solve the world’s problems, that doesn’t sound realistic either. How do I get out of this rut of feeling somewhat helpless about everything?
Stuck: Do you have any knack for caregiving? Maybe that’s difficult to assess, because someone can be great with the elderly and hopeless with kids, or great with littles but awkward with teens, or nope with humans but magical with shelter animals, or catastrophic with fauna but happy all day in a garden.
And if you’re not a nurturer, would you like reading to someone, cooking/cleaning for someone in need, doing crafts with someone, doing heavy lifting for a food pantry … ?
Give it a good think. Then look around for ways you can even micro-contribute toward a better … whatever. If it can’t be a better world, then a better piece of it: town, neighborhood, school, block. Or a better afternoon for someone who could use it. You seem hungry for novelty, purpose, connection, positive impact, and you work only part time, so giving your energy to those who need it seems doable and ticks all those boxes.
