It’s straightforward sufficient to shrug and say “possibly” when somebody thinks they met me years in the past, and we will all have amusing when somebody realizes that wasn’t me they met final Tuesday on the bowling alley. However is there a well mannered technique to deal with somebody rewriting my complete biography as a result of I appear like another person?
“I’m afraid you are mistaken,” stated as many instances as obligatory till your accuser offers up — otherwise you discover it essential to excuse your self in exasperation.
Pricey Miss Manners: My husband and I’ve many couple associates, and I’ve many ladies associates who’re single. We’ve discovered that each time we invite a single girl to hitch us after we exit to dinner, there’s an expectation that the couple (us) choose up all the test. This doesn’t occur with single male associates, nor after we exit with one other couple. In these circumstances, we both cut up the test or ask for separate checks earlier than we order.
Once I exit with my associates on my own, there’s by no means an expectation that whoever makes the invitation picks up the test. Nevertheless it has all the time been the case that the one girl expects to be handled. Am I lacking one thing? I’ve stopped asking my single associates to hitch us for dinner.
That can educate your folks to not present as much as dinner single once more.
Miss Manners concedes that the double commonplace right here is vexing. (Maybe it’s a holdover of the sexist adage {that a} single girl is to be pitied, and these girls are searching for revenge.) Or maybe it’s the variety of individuals (a single meal vs. two) that makes it unbalanced and tempting to let the couple pay, if supplied. However moderately than take part in this sort of sexism — and in addition not interact in outright single-ism — possibly set some floor guidelines upfront. As in, “We’ll get this dinner, and the following one will be on you.”
New Miss Manners columns are posted Monday by Saturday on washingtonpost.com/advice. You’ll be able to ship inquiries to Miss Manners at her web site, missmanners.com. You can too observe her @RealMissManners.
